Goodbye Grandpa

Monday night my Grandpa passed away. He was 88 years old.

Everyone keeps saying what a great, long life he had to make things easier, but for some reason it isn't helping me. I am selfish, I am fully aware of that, have been most of my life, so I want him here. With me. I still had so much I wanted him to see and be a part of, I guess I wasn't ready to let him go yet even though he was ready. His body was failing him, but most of all, he missed my Grandma, the love of his life. She passed away from breast cancer 4 1/2 years ago and my Grandpa was never the same. I think he was ready for God to take him that day too.

When I thought of my Grandpa I couldn't help but also think of my Grandma. They came in a pair, just like shoes, earrings or salt and pepper. So it almost feels like I am losing my Grandma all over again too.

My grandparents were everything I hope Mike and I can be one day. They were married over 5o years and loved each other very much. They traveled and enjoyed everything life had to offer. They were the only grandparents I knew for most of my life and we were very close. My Grandmother was so smart, honest and most of all just a really classy lady. My Grandpa was hard-working, funny and loyal. Of course these are only a few of the million other wonderful ways I could describe them. Everyone that knew them loved them.

I have so many fond memories of my Grandpa. I remember sitting as a young girl on the swing with him in the back yard during the summers, just watching the traffic go by. For those of you that don't know of my hometown, Genesee, Idaho, that means there was hardly any traffic. And the one or two cars, trucks, tractors or combines that did drive by always caused the following remarks from my Grandpa, "Who is that?" followed closely by, "What are they doing driving down our lane?" I remember him cutting his fingernails with his pocket knife and how I thought that was so cool and wished I could do that. I remember seeing him and my Grandma in the stands as I graduated from high school and college and how proud they were. To this day I still look at cantaloupe and wonder how my Grandpa thought it tasted better to sprinkle a little salt on it before stabbing it with his fork.

My most recent and one of my now favorite memories with my Grandpa came just a few months ago when I visited him. I wanted to make sure to see him before I had Hunter. We were just standing next to each other and he touched my very pregnant belly. The whole time I was pregnant not very many people touched my belly, which I mostly appreciated, but this was different. I smiled and made some smartass remark about how lunch was really big or something, but he just smiled and rested his hand on my stomach for a few seconds and looked at me with peaceful eyes. It was one of the most sweetest moments I had ever and will ever experience.

I would like to think that is when he met his great grandson, because unfortunately I wasn't able to get Hunter over there since he was born just 7 weeks ago. I just learned that my Aunt Cammy took copies of the pictures she had taken from the first few days of Hunter's life over to my Grandpa recently. That they had looked them over together, along with the birth announcement I sent out just days ago, which he hung in his apartment. Although I am so sad that he never actually got to meet Hunter, I am so fortunate that he got the next best thing. To at least see Hunter's face in pictures. I don't know how I will ever repay my aunt for doing this. She gave me a precious gift that day and didn't even know it.

I am lucky to have my Mom, and an Aunt and Uncle whom I adore. I catch glimpses of my Grandpa and Grandma in them on a regular basis. It consoles me to still have that connection with my grandparents. To still be able to have a little piece of them here on earth that I can touch and hear.

Here are a few pictures of him that I will always cherish.

This is the last time I saw him, in December. I was 8 months pregnant.

He loved dogs. He would always instigate them by grabbing their noses and tails. :)

A visit to the coast a couple of years ago. It could be 100 degrees out and he would still have that jacket on. :)

Last year my Mom, Aunt Cammy and brother surprised him at his apartment. My Uncle Bob gave him an award for his 60 years in the American Legion. We were all so proud.

A year and a half ago, Grandpa meeting his great-grandson Ken (my brother's son).

We were (and still are) so close as a family. Grandpa with his daughters, my aunt (L) and my mom (R).

Another coast trip. I never realized this, but after going through all these pictures it seemed to be sunny on every trip. I really am a ray of sunshine eh? :)

At my house a few years ago. Love that smile! It was so great to show him my home, where I worked and how well Mike and I are doing. This was his only trip to Ellensburg.

Kicked back in the recliner with his feet up. He always loved a good recliner! (PS, Pickle isn't suppose to be on the couch but Grandpa seemed to enjoy it so I let it slide.)

I will always cherish you Grandpa. You impacted my life in ways you will never know. I will miss you so much, but I know you are up in Heaven with Grandma now. Young, healthy and in love. Holding hands and looking down on your family with smiles. That is how I think of you now, and it will always warm my heart. Goodbye.